


Do We Ask, Levi?

by Fanfic_is_a_sin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Levi is trans and you can all fight me about it, M/M, this probably isn't going anywhere, you can effectvely ignore it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 13:40:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12960483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfic_is_a_sin/pseuds/Fanfic_is_a_sin





	Do We Ask, Levi?

"The sword's in my hand. I'm in the air again, falling. You're there, to my side. It's only us, like before. This one is stronger than anything we've seen. Faster. Smarter. The others are down. Gone. Dead. It's only us, but we have to win. I know you can do it. All I have to do it keep ts attention. You've never failed before. I have. I counted them, every one of them that I failed, but I won't feel guilty about it until I wake up." Erwin closed his eyes. "It happens suddenly. I'm supposed to be surprised, but I'm starting to remember it, even in the dream. I reach with the wrong arm. Realize too late. You look back when you see the wrong shoulder twitch, because of course you know. It hits you. Your gear's damaged, but its eyes track your fall. The sword... the sword's in my hand. I can see the weak spot. I could do it. I could do it, but you're falling. I only have one hand. I have time to catch you. I'd have to drop the sword."

Levi pulled his boot snug and stood up. "What did you pick this time?"

Erwin should have been dressed ten minutes ago. He hadn't even gotten out of bed. "Same as always," he said. "I killed it."

Levi turned to face him and nodded. "We had to win."

"We couldn't." Erwin stared at the sheets.

Levi's expression didn't change, but he crossed his arms. "We won't make it to the hearing on time if you don't let me help you," he pointed out. Levi knew it was a touchy subject, even as close as they were. And he understood, if for different reasons. "Someone should be there to say something worthwhile."

Erwin sighed. It wasn't like him, to have his day thrown off by something like a dream. He'd never had them, when the titans were around. Not once. Not one nightmare, not one morning where the guilt kept him on his back. He hated the idea that they could still take pieces of him off, even now, after they'd been driven further away than anyone was known to have gone. But even worse, he hated the nagging feeling at the base of his skull that it wasn't really the titans at all. War wounds, he could tolerate, even if the scars were in his head. Erwin knew war. War knew him. Whatever they did to each other, it would always be familiar. But this... this was new.

He was doing it again. Levi was waiting for him to respond. He pushed the covers away from himself and swung scarred legs over the edge of the bed. "We'll be late," he admitted. He couldn't let Levi touch him, right now, as tight as he wound his fist at the feeling of keeping him away. "But it won't make much of a difference. We spent too much time saving the city to have the connections we'd need to decide who leads it."

"They still respect us, for what their respect is worth." Levi settled himself back down on the bed, turning his back to Erwin so that the man would stop trying to avoid his eyes without him noticing.

The sound of Erwin fumbling with his pants was familiar. "The respect what we've done, and how many bodies we dropped to do it," Erwin retorted, his voice more bitter than he used to let it get. "That's not the same as respecting us. We're relics already, to them. Giving us new ranks was as good as putting us behind glass at a museum."

"You used to like the politics," Levi said. "You liked beating everyone with your strategies."

"There used to be strategies," Erwin retorted. "The politics used to be about playing them for the resources to solve the problem, not about deciding what the problems were in the first place. To them, people like me are part of the problem." He paused, and Levi knew he was fretting over a button on his shirt. "Doesn't matter if the people in the Ruins District were born poor, lost limbs defending them, or took to disease from being copped up behind walls in the worst parts of the city. They're a drain on resources, and forcing them to leave now that it doesn't risk letting the titans in will be the first thing on the agenda today."

Levi already knew all of this. The anger in Erwin's voice, though, seemed to drag his mind off of his dreams, and into reality. Erwin was good with reality. With anger. And Levi knew how to help him here. While the aristocrats and politicians and desk generals were wary of Erwin and his reputation, it was the smaller man always at his side that dissuaded half of them from thinking a one-armed relic from the titan war would be easy enough to get rid of with a bit of money pressed into the hands of one of the desperate underclass he spent so much time defending. Levi still couldn't be sure why, whether it was guilt or genuine goodness or just the large number of former soldiers who'd been left to wither without the protections of rank that he hand Erwin had. It didn't matter to him. That Erwin was doing good, mattered, whether or not he meant to do it because it was good. "So, what do we do," Levi asked quietly. "If they pick the wrong problems, and solutions that we can't live with?"

Erwin appeared a few feet to the side of him, coming around the edge of the bed. His coat, with its cold patch of medals and rank bars, was swung over his shoulders, all but obscuring his lost arm. "What we've always done," he answered. "We save this city from its giants."

It was the first time he'd been certain that Erwin would commit to open rebellion, if the time came. And like all times, it would certainly come. It was just a matter of how many ticks the clock had in it before it reached the right hour. "No matter what you ask them to consider, they won't change their minds," Levi muttered.

Erwin's hand fell on his shoulder. And, damn him, he knew how much it took for Erwin to manage that right now. "Do we ever ask, Levi?"

Levi grimaced. It was the question that had gotten them through several hells, and he knew the answer by heart. "Only each other," he murmured, laying his cheek against Erwin's hand.

"But always each other," Erwin recited. His other shoulder moved. Levi looked down, but he knew Erwin had seen his eyes dart to it. He'd meant to pet Levi's hair. Erwin's expression fell, then hardened. "Can we do this?" he asked.

Levi sighed against his wrist. "We have to."


End file.
